MEXICO, DAY 1

Let me break down Mexico for you in just a couple words….alright it will be more than a couple, I’ll just say a few. I will attempt to give the most descriptive, showy, blasphemous storytelling presentation ever now. But due to many of the activities in which I was partaking, you will probably get, even with my skilled storytelling ability, about 20-25% of every story. But hey, it was worth it. Although my liver, who is evidently union, is still picketing outside my house…which I’ll admit, does suck quite a bit, but at least the other organs were willing to cross the line.

DAY 1

Day One actually began on the night before day one, which was Wednesday night. I had packed my bags and headed over to Matt and Lisa’s, who would be providing me with transportation to the airport along with them at 4am the next morning. But of course I did not show up empty handed, nor did I have any desire to sleep for some scant amount of time before going to the airport. So, I had 24 beers and a mission: to stay awake all night drinking and get Matt to as well. Missions accomplished. We drank quite a few beers, played video games, and were the models for Lisa’s gesture drawing class. I fell asleep for about ten seconds, in which time, as Matt said, “You drooled on your collarbone.” Well-played Matt. I know. But I was drunk and had been awake for about 20 hours; so some drooling was bound to happen. Then we departed, and after various car journeys and various phone messages for some, we arrived at the airport. Our first flight was a quick one to Denver and I could get no one to drink with me on that brief journey, maybe because it was like 7am. But, on the flight to Mexico, I did indeed consume a couple margaritas, but not alone, as I am sure even though no one else in my traveling group was drinking, some others on the plane had to have been drinking.

Finally, we reached Mexico, and even getting off the plane was…..well….more Mexican. Many of us were seated in the back of the plane, and all of a sudden a little man pops up and says, “Well, are you getting off or what?” as he gestured at the now open backdoor with a staircase leading down from it. Right Mexican airport worker, because we are so used to debarking by way of the backdoor down a staircase. Then we went through customs that consisted of such fun activities of pushing a button where a green light would go off. We had many ideas as to why we did this, but most of them were shot down when we were not required to press a button when leaving the country that would then emit a red light.

We then took a bus to our resort, where all guests were ushered into a welcome room. In this room they had drinks set out for us, drinks for which I loudly inquired, “Do these have alcohol in them?”. Sadly the answer was no, but the woman doing the hotel introductions got an idea about the tastiness of our group and made sure to highlight the many bars and drinking activities as well as the importance of wearing the wristabnd with the name of the resort on it which we could wave a cab drivers if we passed out in a gutter in the city. Anywho, luckily Matt’s sister Christi had a flask of tequila and our previously non-alcoholic welcoming drinks now had a zesty kick to them.

At this point, our rooms were still not ready, but we were encouraged to go eat some food at one of the four restaurants on the resort (which we soon found all consisted of buffets with very similar foods, but luckily I am not an epicurean of any sort and I did not travel to Mexico to sample worldly foods….let’s be serious). I got some food on a plate and set about to find one of the many aforementioned bars. I found one, ordered two rum and cokes and let the tastiness continue, as everyone else marveled at my ability to find liquor. Not that challenging on a resort with like 8 bars.

Now we were finally able to check into our rooms. I was rooming with Darrell, who of the other three non-coupled people in our group on the journey. The rooms were very nice and the nicest part of them was the fully stocked mini bars. And since this was an all inclusive, you did not have to worry in the least about drinking whatever you wanted. There was a dispenser with a full bottle of tequila, rum, vodka, and gin and a mini fridge full of Coronas, Pepsi, 7-Up and bottled water. So, pretty much, awesome.

We quickly changed into pool and pool bar drinking clothes and joined everyone down by the pool. By this point, I am rewasted, and have not slept in like 40 hours. Then, everyone else wants to get wasted too. And then it got a little wild in that beautiful bar located in the swimming pool, which, by the way, is a brilliant feature to life. I want bars anywhere else I can be comfortable. By my bed, at the back massage place…you get the idea. So everyone got wasted…I think. The rest of the story for this day, I remember somewhat, but was more or less told.

We went and showered and changed clothes prior to eating dinner. Once at dinner, which was once again at some buffet style place, I proceeded to get a plate full of nasty foods that do not go together and started throwing them around at people. Then I followed Christi to the buffet and got what she got and slopped it together on my plate, and somehow ate it all.

We then proceeded to this outdoor stage area where there was some sort of show for the people of the resort going on. I got some beers at a nearby bar, and proceeded to walk, in front of the stage, nearly on to the stage, and wave at all my friends in the back of the crowd…a crowd of about 100 people, mind you. Darrell said that my escapades back and forth in front of the stage were evidently to talk to a girl, who I may or may not have spoken to, as he said it was too far away for him to see, and I don’t really recall. This is not really black out drunkenness, but rather the effects of no sleep and mucho drinking. The black outs occurred later in the trip.
After I was asked to leave the area by some sort of resort employee, I proceeded to go…yep….in the fountain. I was in the fountain swimming around and doing God knows what for apparently half an hour. And, there are pictures, although I have yet to see any of them. Then I wished to lay down on the grass outside the fountain, at which time people decided to attempt to throw purses and sandals at my crotch, which I was wise enough to cover. Who said people don’t learn from their mistakes? After this amusing time, I was trying to go back to sleep in my room, all the while forgetting that my room key did not work and only D’s did. So, I laid down on Bell and Christi’s floor, soaking wet, well prepared to sleep on the tile that night. Somehow, I was let into my room and woke up in my bed the next morning.