Day 2 of this fine journey was a little rough on me, I am not going to fib. Thus the next day, I woke up after a restless night of sleep, sunburned and weary of drinking so early in the morning. I must mention, however, the brilliant programming of the televisions in Mexico. The FOX station played The Simpsons for about six hours in a row every evening, with random intermittent epsiodes of Malcolm in the Middle. Then random infomercials for Jack Lalanne's Power Juicer would come on, and this is a man for whom I believe was an inspiration for Martin Short's character on Arrested Development of "Uncle Jack", and if you watch the show, you know the hilarity involved. So, here I am all drunk and delriously tired waking up to see this man on an infomercial in Mexico....high comedy. Alright, now that aside is aside, on to the tale of Day 3....Saturday.
I woke up and went to dine with everyone else, on this day refraining from drinking until "at least 11" (I know it sounds very extreme when I put it that way) and eating a complete breakfast. As I mentioned my sunburn I had also grown some spite for the muy caliente Mexican sun and wished to not be in it all day. So although everyone else was headed directly for the beach, I decided I needed to go for a run. So, I returned to the room, put on my running shoes and other appropriate clothes, grabbed my mp3 player and headed down to the beach. Obvious statement ensues: After nights of drinking and extreme sun exposure, the already arduous task of running on the beach is even more difficult, and death might potentially feel imminent at several points during the run. So I ran for a good long jaunt down the beach, and returned to our resort area, quite sweaty and feeling rather mortal. Then it was time to go throw on the trunks and play some frisbee in the ocean. So that I did, but only after applying what seemed like at least seven gallons of sunscreen. I did not aspire to burn the burn. After maybe one hour of frisbee or so, Bell and I decided it was too hot at the beach, and more importantly, we needed to drink.
So, we walked to the bar above the pool, sat on the shady veranda and drank some fine Coronas, which actually tasted quite good. More of our group joined us and before I knew it I was back in the pool drinking Beam and Cokes. I guess it was more a matter of facilitation that I began drinking these drinks. When one person in the group went to get drinks, it would always be easy to remember to grab at least one of these, and possibly two depending on how quickly I was drinking. Ummm yeah...I was a drunken facilitator. Also, this was the day orange bikini girl and her seemingly younger sister showed up. She was a cute girl, and she comes into play further on Day 4. So then we went and ate lunch, once again at the buffet near the beach, and I consumed whatever the hell looked decent to eat...nachos....pizza...chicken nuggets...salsa that was way too spicy yet I never learned not to gloop on everything....you know the deal
After this I laid around in the room for a long while, napping and watching movies. Then Darrell returned to the room and I suggested we head down to the pool and we did. At first, we were the only two down there, but then Matt, Lisa and Adam appeared out of nowhere and next thing I knew we were back at the damn bar in the pool, at which point Adam suggested that I get drunk with him. But, he was not the only one at fault for my pre dinner drunkeness that fine evening. None other than Adrian the bartended was working the pool bar. So I always had a Jim and Coke in my hand for the next couple hours, and due to the prescence of friends chanting "more! more! more!" while he poured the whiskey in my drink, I ended up with some pretty potent drinks. Adam also ordered a Long Island which came to be known as "bee repellent" since with all the sticky drinks in the area, there were quite a few bees, but this drink was so strong they definitely stayed away once this drink sat there, and I believe a couple bees even died. Anywho, I ended up getting wasted, and once again before dinner. Yet I still remembered dinner that night....so...uhhh....bonus?
That night we had made reservations at the resort for the one place that you had to have a reservation- the Brazilian style steakhouse place. For those of you not familiar with the Brazilian steakhouse principle, you eat meat until your body begins rejecting it. So we went to this place, ate lots of meat and whatnot, and then decided we were going to Senor Frogs in downtown Puerto Vallerta. So, around nine (more drinking and more drinking all the while) we left for this frog place. Unfortunately no one informed us that until about 11 o'clock, kids are allowed in the place, and in fact, the place is filled with them. Tiny ass kids bumping and grinding....it is actually quite disturbing. Luckily we were unfazed and everyone began getting buckets of beer like quasi cool people purchasing Oakleys. At some point, the wee tots cleared out and the place got really unbelievably packed (with all legally aged people) and then got very sweaty. But at least it was more fun once the mini humans left and brought their creepy reminders of 4th grade with them.
We got a cab home, which ended up being a wild adventure in which we nearly ended up at Domino's Pizza (who the hell knew there even was one?) and then returned to the resort for a nightcap of some White Russians and some phenomenal sleep.
Day 3. Done. But Day 4 may have been the wildest of them all.
No comments:
Post a Comment