I forgot to put this in my last post, so here are the reasons why they are losers for doing something else for New Year's Eve without the large bulk of their friends:
10)At our party, we legalized drugs
9)They just released something on the news, and everyone where you guys were got Ebola.
8)At our party, we got to drink something called the Green Monster. At your party, you guys got an STD that is nicknamed "The Green Monster"
7)At your party the music sucked. Wait, it sucked at ours too. (PUSH)
6)I got to see Brian in a furry hat. Did you guys? Oh I think not.
5)While your party was at "Dirrty Nellie's" our party environment was rather clean.
4)You guys had to hang out with a bunch of creepo's all night. Christi, that wasn't Bell's hand. And Bell, that wasn't Christi's ass.
3)You missed out on the best burritos in the history of man. Sorry, one night only. It is, in fact, like a fairy tale and that burrito stand will not even exist should you try to go there.
2)Since you were at alternate locations, you had to send annoying text messages. Not that the messages themselves were annoying, but do we really have cell phones to type messages by hitting numbers thousands of times to make stupid words that only exist in text messaging land? Like gr8 (great) or ttyl (talk to you later). Just fucking call goddamnit.
1)You will never have New Year's Eve 2006 with us ever. Until I build my time machine. But I don't know if I want to invite 2015 Christi and Bell with since, well I already built my time machine (2014 me told me so) and he said 2015 Christi and Bell are huge jerks and eat nothing but beef jerky (which at that point will be the currency...and who eats money?).
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