First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their comments. They have really been helpful in shaping what I write now as well as in the future. Your e-mails, as numerous as the stars, were also just too much as now I have no idea what to write about. Wait, that's right, NO ONE POSTED ANY COMMENTS OR GAVE ANY FEEDBACK. THANKS A MILLION. I LOVE MY READERSHIP. Seriously though, I just want to know if anyone reads this. So post a comment, say what you like, it doesn't seem that it could be that hard. But computers are difficult for some, so I understand.
Second of all, Christi once again cancelled Monday Night Football viewing at her house. That is why anyone who goes should boycott all future MNF viewings there. Here are three excellent reasons to do so:
1)The smell. I don't about any of you guys, but I have to throw away any clothes that I wear while I am there.
2)Risk of Avian Flu. At Christi's is the only time when we have those boxing matches with our hands stuffed inside various uncooked poultry.
3)Dangerous "hamster". Christi's "hamster", Rufus, is the size of my leg and eats twice as much as I do. He once ranked #15 in the AP College Top 25 Football Poll.
This past weekend I finally saw the new Willy Wonka movie. I definitely enjoyed it, but all too readily miy mind kept comparing it to the original. Here, in this groundbreaking blog, we will see which is better.
Old Willy Wonka "Charlie"- This Charlie was ugly, had falling out hair and wore some crazy ass clothes. This is much more what I would expect from a poor ass kid who searches in storm drains for chocolate bars.
New Willy Wonka "Charlie"- This Charlie was played by young up and comer, Freddie Highmore (of Finding Neverland fame). He looked consistently clean throughout and always had a cheery disposition. He only occasionally searched through garbage cans and kept making dumb decisions to benefit his family rather than himself.
Advantage: OLD
Old Willy Wonka "Willy Wonka"- Gene Wilder was great. A tad scary, but great all the same.
New Willy Wonka "Willy Wonka"- Johnny Depp was smart enough, under the direction of Tim Burton, to not try and imitate Gene Wilder at all. Instead, he took this role and made himself into a cheery, pale, weirdo. Brilliant.
Advantage: NEW
Old Willy Wonka "Oompa-Loompas"- These guys were phenomenal workers and wore awesome costumes, and sang awesome songs.
New Willy Wonka "Oompa Loompa(s)"- One man, who I am not even sure was a midget, who used computer graphics to become a bunch of men. I did not like this oompa loompa as much. The costumes weren't awesome, and the songs were only okay. The only good part of the songs was watching Willy do funny little dances and giggle as they sang. Not to mention their seeming lack of work ethic.
Advantage: OLD
Old Willy Wonka "Other Kids"- Mike Teevee, Violet Beauregard, Augustus Gloop and Veruca Salt really set the standards pretty high in terms of their representations of their roles. Veruca was a snotty ass bitch, Augustus a victim of morbid obesity, Mike, an overindulged idiot, and Violet, a brash, overconfident little dumbass.
New Willy Wonka "Other Kids"- Mike Teevee was even more pretentious and annoying and the best part about him was that whenever he spoke, Depp would say to him, "You're mumbling. I can't understand a single word you're saying." Violet was tolerable. Augustus seems to be easy to cast and Veruca was right online with her predecessor.
Advantage: OLD
Old Willy Wonka "Charlie's Family"- A strange mix of a poor old laundry doing Mom (who sang the worst song ever in the history of film), no Father, and four old grandparents in a bed. Grandpa Joe was awesome and had a badass moustache.
New Willy Wonka "Charlie's Family"- For some reason, they needed star power, in terms of Helena Bonham Carter, to play Charlie's Mom. His Dad was weird and looked like a citizen of Whoville from the Grinch and his Grandpa George was a rolling ball of negativity. I am glad they stuck wit the grandparents in the bed idea, though.
Advantage: OLD
Ok, so the old one was still a lot better, but I guess the new one might be worth watching to someone, somewhere.
Ok, with credit to ESPN.com's Page 2's, the Sports Guys' Intern (damn you apostrophes, damn you straight to hell) http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/links/051116....I see that GPS companies are now releasing celeb voices for their voice guided directional systems. Here are my Top 5 and Bottom 5 voices I would like to guide me:
Top 5:
5) Jack Palance
4) Will Ferrell
3) Gary Coleman
2) Ah-nold
1)Marv Albert
Bottom 5:
5)Bjork
4)Kurt Loder
3) Marv Albert
2) Stephen Hawking
1) Gilbert Gottfried
Yes, I know Marv Albert is on both lists, but he is both a gift and a curse. "Turn right in 1.5 miles....YES! Let's see that one again!"
I am excited about going home this weekend with some friends to play some Spades, it should be a fun time. I had more to write about but I am bored of typing and finding my humor to be slightly lackluster today as well. MAYBE SOME COMMENTS WOULD HELP SO THAT YOU COULD TELL ME SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO HEAR MY FUNNY OPINION ABOUT. whatever.
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