It hit me today, all of a sudden, much like a moving vehicle strikes a blind pedestrian sans walking stick thingy, "Holy shit self, Christmas is next week! And then New Year's is right after that...where in the hoodad did 2006 go? And also food goes in your mouth, not your eye, self. Silly man creature."
So yes, I checked my cellular telephone device and confirmed that today was in fact the 19th of December. Which means the holiday many celebrate known as Christmas (literally derived from "Chri" meaning "orangutan fallopian tube" and "Stmas" which means "I would not smell that if I were you") is less then a week away. And the holiday many more celebrate known as Kwanzaa is pretty damn close too. Which is a whole other story altogether (but very short: I once declared I was celebrating Kwanzaa to try and avoid going to church on Christmas). Anyways, all leapfrogging aside, a year has nearly passed and in some sort of quasi-serious manner, I need to act confused, as if this was Thanksgiving, and say what I have been thankful for in 2006. What can I say? I follow many rules, but not the one of cornily being thankful for things in mid-November....what if you find something new to be thankful for in December? Tell me you would even remember it next November when you are high on tryptophan, ludes, and vicodin.
Family- These people always come first. It helps I guess that I have pretty much the awesomest family around. They don't smell too bad, they occasionally help out with stuff, they have not racially profiled anyone they do not know, and best of all, my Mom makes some good Chex Mix. No really in all seriousness, my family has been great this year, helping me out when I needed help or someone to talk to, putting up with my various antics and ridiculousness (and maybe even buying me an ethnic slur billboard? ((fingers crossed)) I am sure at times people could wonder how one would ever want to go about crossing someone in our family seeing as I can envision my Dad cooly throwing a molotov cocktail into a car then walking away like nothing happened. The whole family is awesome. Trust me on this.
Friends- I also happen to have the most baller ass friends in the world. I know you are thinking how did one man luck out to have the nest family AND friends? Well, I pay my friends and my family has yet to figure out how to change their residence without me finding it. My friends are the most ragtag collection of people that combine to be able to put up with me and my moodiness, vile stench, and dragon adoptions. Ok, ok being serious again, my friends really are awesome. They have helped me through some nonsense this year, made me laugh, made me think, introduced me to people who are newer friends, and consumed liquor with me to make sure I was not doing that all by my lonesome. Even if I am an asshole most of the time, I do value your friendship.
Sandwiches- People might think I am joking about my love of sandwiches, but I am not even close to playing. Without sandwiches, suddenly 75% of my meals are gone. I love you ham and provolone, peanut butter and jelly, turkey and cheddar, peanut butter and bugles (alright so that was a drunken invention last week when I was very low on groceries...and I am not even sure I liked it all that much) and all your other friendly combos. Thank you for your presence in my life.
Humor- I have begun to realize that one of my main goals in life is to consistently be laughing at something, whether it is something I am reading, something I am watching, or looking at (like a weird picture I decided to take on my phone). I guess this is slightly problematic at times to be trying to laugh at everything, like at work meetings, but I can always just pass it off as genetic juvenile dementia. Actually no one would probably think that was very funny aside from me.
Beer and Liquor- I am not extremely thankful for these two guys as much as I am for the other things on my list, but they have been a big part of my 2006. At times, maybe a little too big (like when people are accusing you of your "life spiraling out of control"...it did not happen to me, but to a guy I know...and if it was in fact "spiraling" it was a weak ass spiral...I continued, I mean the guy continued working 40 hours a week, paying his bills, all that good stuff), but when needed it definitely helped to provide some fun situations. So hops, barley, yeast, and whatever the hell most liquors are made of, thanks. But come around a tad less in 2007, ok?
To be honest I had no idea what I was going to speak about when I sat down and began typing. So, I am definitely thankful for more things, and definitely more important things than the five listed above (especially with number 3 being sandwiches...my priorities are not that out of wack). Yes, but happy 2007. And I will probably write something next week, maybe advertising a chance to get a New Year's kiss from me.....how fuckin creepy.
No comments:
Post a Comment