Inspected By #8

First of all, I would like to say that my accounting "house" ( I have decided all businesses should be called houses a la publishing house...it just makes work sound funny, although still not fun. And my roommate Derek said, "It sounds weird for me...I work at an Industrial Parts Supply House"....too funny) employs a intellectual property and patent lawyer.

Now that I have that out of the way, the title to this weeks blog is the title of my yet unwritten screenplay. It will be a comedy loosely based on my life, thoughts and whatnot. The main character will be an "inspector". Because I was thinking the other day, those people who inspect more typically than not lower grades of apparel (underwear, Fruit of the Loom T's, socks) and leave their little sticker "Inspected by 8", do they begin to identify themself as that? Is this their identity? Do they have their number tattooed on themself? Are their brutal murders over these numbers, either between two numbers or when someone thinks the quality of their product is subpar and 8 needs to get shanked?

Here is a scene from the film:

(Zoom in to warehouse, full of numeric inspectors. Car approaches, slams on brakes. Angry customer approaches front desk, holding what they see as a less than perfect tagless Hanes undershirt)

Angry Customer: Where the FUCK is 8, man? I am not playing!
8: I'm 8, and I suggest you keep your voice down (said real creepy Clint Eastwood like)
Angry Customer: This shirt is threadbare!
8: (wielding homemade shank made out of sharpened toothbrush) Threadbare, WHAT?

(8 walks away from now dead body)

8:Don't fuck with 8, man!

Alright, so that will not actually be a scene in my film unless I want DMX in it as "8". I plan on writing more of a comedy. It will be funny, and I guarantee at least three chuckles by viewers. This above scene will be when some crappy screenplay guy wants to adapt my idea into a movie starring Jean Claude Van Damne as the inspector protaganist/antagonist trying to save his leukemia-ridden child.

Life is good. The screenplay is still a couple humorous years away from its inception. But you can wait. I mean, when was the last time you saw a movie that changed your life? And made you pee in your pants? And made you wish you were a ninja too? This is that movie.

I had the good fortune of going to see The Blue Man group this past Saturday night. It was phenomenally hilarious and all in all a crazy experience. I recommend it to anyone who has not seen it. I did have some "ruminations" (trademarked as well) about the show:

-Why blue?
-How do those guys not smile the whole time?
-Why did I have to sit next to smelly old people?
-Would the green man group catch on?
-What did people think when this show first started in 1989 or whatever?
-If I were to try the crack the Blue Men smoked, where would I acquire such crack?
-I would like a candy bar right now. A Whatchamacallit.


My U of L Cardinals continue to play mediocre basketball. Their season motto seems to be "We can play with anyone, but not win". Luckily the baseball season is right around the corner. Trevor, Joe, and I are going to try the baseball season feat of 9 hot dogs and 9 beers in a 9 inning game. It will be fun. I am only worried about back to back 1-2-3 innings. That could be rough.

Also, thank all of you for your thoughtful blog feedback and ideas and just plain support. Yeah right, you would be like a Ron Jeremy used jockstrap being used on Trevor...no support and just plain too big.