Sunday, November 25, 2007

Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will

Things That Are Silly To Me Lately:
1) Whimsical Childrens Cereals
2) TV News Programs
3) Meth
4) Parking Tickets
5) People who think cartography is still a good profession to get into
6) Names from the 1930's being used now


Even with the recent focus on healthier foods for children so we don't end up with a generation of the functionally obese, (they can move around, but they can also eat all your bacon. and not even be kind enough to thank you...it's just the way of the youngest generation, they aren't that well-mannered either. or they will come to your fourth of July BBQ and eat as a casual snack all the cheese you intended to use on the burgers, then go home with your sister...it's sort of a tit for tat sort of thing) I still notice a large number of children's cereals that are new and definitely cater to children...and don't scream health. But they crack me up. I swear it is a matter of time before Krispy Kreme makes a cereal that is merely cut up pieces of their doughnuts. For god's sake, there is actually a chocolate Chex...wow. And everytime I walk down the cereal aisle, I hear a kid whining to their parent/guardian/kidnapper who is kind enough to ask them what kind of cereal they want, "Can't we get some Cinammon Roll-O's/ Tiny French Toast with Extra High Fructose Corn Syrup Graham-o-Wham's/ Fudgem's?" You probably shouldn't, kid.

I always love when people refer to something they have heard from the news on television. I really have not seen much on their that offers anything too redeeming or has any value to bring up in conversation. I have recently begun watching a morning TV show on CNN a couple days a week with some sort of purdy lady named Robin who is the host...now while it is obvious Robin tries hard to convey excitement about her job, here is a rundown of the top stories from one day, which makes me really wonder if she considers herself a news journalist of a high degree: "Homeless Man Earns Money" (he had turned in a person who was wanted...not just cashed in his latest bag of cans), "Something or Other About that Kanye West's Mom's Doctor", "Strange Weather Patterns Somewhere", and "Funny Video of Baby Doing Something, Possibly Involving a Squirrel". So, whenever I hear someone talking about something they saw on the news, my ears perk up because I am ready to talk about something of obviously extreme importance.

Meth popularity seems to be at an all time high...and I am not talking about the actual drug, but rather about the popularity of it getting mentioned on TV shows, commercials and other ads against doing it, and just all sorts of meth stuff. Just a couple things about meth: on the couple of TV shows I have seen it on, the users of the drug had been at a party and were introduced to it. I have partied, and I know lots of crazy people and I have done some pretty wild stuff, but NEVER have I been anywhere when some people had been doing meth at a party, nor have I ever been in such a state where I would think, "Hey self, that sounds like a good idea...yeah..definitely try some meth." My friend Joe who just became a Chicago cop told me about some of things that are in meth, which include gasoline, WD 40, steel wool, Clorox and other such fun things...what a wild time. Silly meth. You so crazy.

I understand the whole idea of parking tickets, but at the same time I don't really understand why they have to be given out so readily. You mean I have to pay that much money because for some short period of time I stationed my vehicle in this particular spot? Even if I did park in a handicapped spot while not being handicapped, does that not demonstrate some sort of mental handicap? I just sort of wish that people who gave out parking tickets were more laid back in their approach and just went after the real assholes...so yeah, people who aren't me. People without plate IL 920 7374. Others. All others if you wish.

Maps are nearly dead. I can look at my parents house, my house, and even into your swimming pool (I use the familiar you here) all on Google Earth. And how many people carry around a map to get somewhere? They are mainly just a large fire hazard or something to use when you have accidentally thrown your picnic blanket in the wash and are having some sort of impromptu picnic/ paper airplane throwing contest with local youths (don't ask how this works with the blanket...you would need a far better understanding of physics before I could even begin to explain that to you). Just tell people you are really into cartography, it still sounds cool and lower IQ'ed women will be impressed. I once told people I was an ornithologist. It was TONS of fun.

Clarence. Edith. Beatrice. Edna.

That is all.

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