If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break

I have a bone to pick with the dry cleaning community. And society as a whole is really a part of the problem so I will likewise pick a bone with them (a radius or ulna....nothing as serious as a femur or pelvis). My problem is, and please hold back your shouts of support, getting charged more because I have longer shirts. I have longer shirts because I am taller. Duh. And this is where society comes into play in a dual manner.

1)Society frowns on men wearing shirts that are far too short, such as the ones would be if I purchased "normal" sized shirts.

2)Society (and by this I mean people I am seen with, like prostitutes, off duty cops, and harlequins) also seems to get mad at me wearing extremely wrinkly clothes, something which I have no problem with, but something which prompted an ex-girlfriend to take over my laundry duties for me because my clothes would always be so wrinkled.

So, even if I had shorter shirts I would still have to spend money to get them dry cleaned. Screw you for that society. And, I think the government should start a fund to pay the difference that I must pay for having longer shirts. Over the course of a lifetime, at an additional 10 to 25 cents per shirt, I could be looking at literally, around millions (of thai baht...more like $2,000 dollars maybe? I dunno. Get on that math whizzes). So, presidential candidates 2008, please shirk the important issues and talk about how you are going to pay for my dry cleaning. And I wish I were kidding.

Subway Restaurants have currently positioned themselves as an advertising BEAST. Have you seen the deadly combination of people they are using for their commercials? A former morbidly obese man who ate Subway down to moderately chunky, Jared, and the most brilliant comedic mind of our time, Jon Lovitz. I am surprised with the Jared/Lovitz combo I have avoided being brainwashed into eating Subway a minimum of 7 times a day. God help us should they ever decide to pair the two in a commercial together....just think of the straight man Jared paired with comic wiz Jon Lovitz, playing off one another and expressing the multitude of reasons to enjoy Subway. God help us indeed.

In baseball news, the other day Vlad Guerrero of the Los Angeles of Anaheim of California Angels of Seraphim of Heaven, removed himself from a game in the 5th inning, citing "fatigue". Several questions I have after this:

-Was he not expecting to play baseball that day and gotten all tired out in his daily squash match?
-If he, who is paid 13.5 million to play baseball per year, can remove himself in the 5th inning due to fatigue, shouldn't I be able to leave work after, say, half an hour for the same reason?
-What kind of pansy manager lets his player leave the game? Tell him to drink some Gatorade between innings and be a man. That's what I would do. Because Vlad, who are you kidding....you are one of the best players but most of the time in the field you stand around and at the plate you just go up there and swing at every pitch, so it is not as if your at bats tire you out...seriously. So Angels, if you want to take a serious demotion in skill, but gain a player who will never be fatigued for significantly less money, contact me. I will crappily play 162 full games per year for not very much money. I don't want to lowball myself by saying something like $50,000 since I believe everyone gets more than that. But let me know guys.