I can make that a combo for you for only a dollar more

Let me begin by saying, I abhor Daylight Savings Time. I know one of the man-myths (inappropriately revered, fat womanizer) of American History (Benjamin Franklin) had some shit to do with this *although if you do any real research he wrote humorously on the subject as such a brilliant (overweight) man would do*. This random time change is stupid because, first of all, people are then for days on end referring to "old time". If we are going to change it, shut the fuck up about "old time". It is a new time and even if you stayed up until 7 old time, it is 8 new time. So shut it. It is not some marvel of the human body to adjust your waking and sleeping by one hour. Secondly, springing forward an hour in the spring is dumb. Who cares if it is more daylight? The real reason people stay outside in the spring and summer months is because the weather is nicer. There could be some strange adjustments made in the fall and winter to make days seem longer, but no one would be outdoors enjoying the daylight because it just ain't that fun to be out in the sunlight of an 8 degree day. My sister Eileen commented on this, saying, "Don't you look forward to sitting out in the waning hours of the day under an umbrella drinking a drink?" First of all, I like drinking and may even consider it a new passion to be the world's top drinker, and part deux, I don't care if it is light out or not. Thirdly, there is not thirdly, but American Idol has jumped my personal shark. I also need to start putting random incorrect words in quotes to make people "uncomfortable".

I went to see The Strokes (and kickass opening band The Eagles of Death Metal) on Friday night with my sister Kay. It was real badass throw down sort of music. We even acted like homeless people and I showed proper tutelage to Kay by making an epci sized Jack and Coke in a 2 liter bottle which we brought on the train with us. We kept it homeless on the real. Damn I am gangster.

Well, as many of you recent events have transpired which have changed my life. I am speaking of course about my botox injections. No really I am playing, after a good two year run with the same lady, I have appropriately been redesignated away from that position and will be in search of a new one. So if anyone wants to give me any interviews, that is fine, as this is The Summer of Tim. Fun will follow me, wearing the appropriate party gear (beer dispensing hat, assless chaps, noisemakers) and I will show Fun how it is done. Because Fun has rolled with me on occasion recently, but he forgot what it was really like to sink his meaty, bearlike claws into, well, himself. And God saw it. And it was good. (Props God, respect ((uhh basically, I am trying not to be struck down for again using Your name in the blog)) and I'll make you some veggie dip like you enjoy). Ready to Rock and Roll? I am going to buy a drum set and make some of the most arrythmic white man noises ever. People will love me and I will join the great interchangeable band.

ONE