"Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin."

Ok children, can anyone name today's quote? It is none other than a personal hero of mine, George Costanza. There is an episode of Seinfeld entitled "The Summer of George" which captivates and entertains the mind while also providing a shit ton of humor. George had recently been laid off from the Yankees and had a three month severance package. I was recently dropped like I was hot and while I received no severance package, I did get to realize that life is definitely good. Thus, as I mentioned last week, this is The Summer of Tim. It does not mean I am going to try and change who I am or anything, since I pretty much like that guy already (and many people seem to think I am, at the very lest, awesome as well), but it is more about doing things for me and having fun and doing whatever the hell I want. As I somehow was able to wisely conjure up, "The important people don't go anywhere." *I am adding this as I am in the fifth paragraph of this bullshit log, and I have a warning, this week, not too funny as of yet...very informative, but short on humor*

So far The Summer of Tim has been excellent. Although I have not purchased a recliner with a built in fridge yet (like George), I have done some other crazy stuff. Let me recount a few tales:

On Tuesday morning, while sitting at a client's office, I saw that there were still tickets available for the Cubs game day. So I rapidly telephoned Brian and he was able to get off work for the afternoon and able to reconvince me to make up a lie for work (nut complications....it was perfect...they will never doubt a man having ball pain especially when the man is me and I had random surgery a couple months back....by the way I am not deformed in any way and everything still works great...there is just a cool scar is all...trust me....uhhh...that was weird for me too, but hey, being open is great). So I did, and we ended up buying some tickets on the street for $30 (total) in section 211. It was a crapass game, but the beer (all five of them) were quite delicious and fun was lingering in the air. Then we went to the Cubby Bear where we continued consuming beers at a breakneck pace...which in retrospect was an awful idea. Then everything gets sort of cloudy for the both of us, but we know we went to some other bars or something and then randomly I was by myself on the steps of some apartment building drinking Mad Dog 20/20 with a homeless man. Once again a slight breakdown in the thought making process, and as I told Harry (this was the man's name) when he said "Do you really want to get drunker?" , "I am pretty sure I am already there". Luckily for the sake of my ass, Brian randomly wandered up and began drinking with us. Very weird, I know as I typically do not drink with homeless people or randomly wander off by myself and do so. What ensued was me trying to take the train home, and I am pretty sure all I did was get on trains and pass out, as I missed the transfer to the blue line at least three or four times, and then woke up on the Blue Line at the Forest Park stop. All in all, it took me over three hours to get from Wrigleyville to Oak Park. Wow. It pretty much rocked. Except for the homeless man experience which is like licking a toilet covered in cheap wine. And while very humorous, I pray I never do it again (at least not for the next 23 years, once every 23 is okay).

I guess this is all part of my continuing internship experience with Brian. I first gained the internship when I was a sophomore and Brian was a senior and we pretty much hung out all the time. At some point I became his "intern" wherein I would have to learn things about life, drinking, women, and occasionally fart on command. It was not very good paying, but the lessons have been great. Including every time something seemingly bad happens with me and a girl, Brian has the perfect 1980's Tom Cruise film to watch. The time I got cheated on, it was Risky Business (just say What the fuck). The more recent situation, it was Cocktail (Most things in life, good and bad, just kind of happen). Internships are great.

You may be asking several things right now: "Why is this so not funny this week? What are the songs of the summer of Tim? How do you feel about marshmallow filling? If you were a plant, what would you be?"

1)Humor will come grasshopper. I am funny enough for like seven people most of the time. So deal with it. I am sure Christi, if reading this, would giggle the entire time. (Alright, so that is not really a good barometer of humor since Christi sees her toes and laughs, but hey, what do you want?)

2) There are several songs of The Summer of Tim:

-"Juicebox" by The Strokes. Ever since I went to see this band I cannot stop listening to all of their music. They rock. But especially this song, I have been listening to at the very least 25 times a day. Really, really loud. It is definitely the anthem.

-"I Want You So Hard" by the Eagles of Death Metal. It rocks, Enough said.

-"Pimp Juice" by Nelly anyone that knows me knows that this has been my song for a while now. Jen even made me a sign that said "Pimp Juice Central". Boo-yah

3)Marshmallow filling is definitely overrated and overused. Sometimes it is way too chewy and needs to be a little less chewy, almost like marsmallow creme.

4)Picea pungens. A Colorado Blue Spruce for you not Latin inclined out there. I would be a globe on a standard and nver get bagworms.

Last night I went out with Trevor and myspace acquaintance Victor (who I only met for the first time). Good times were had by all, even though Vic's friend Joe was really wasted and continually was asking me: if I went to school, where I went to school, and what I studied. After a while, as I am prone to do anyways, I just started fucking with him: "Uhh yeah, I went to UConn, played on a national championship team, studied rocket scientry and pigeon migration...now I am just finishing up a rapid three months Phd program at U. of Chicago...it's a yawn"....we drank these weird new Budweiser can/bottles. It was the weirdest thing ever. I hate them,yet feel compelled to love them at the same time.

That is all for now. So, be glad if you are apart of my summer. It is about fun, saying what needs to be said, being open, and letting people basically know what is up. I'm a grown ass man.