had from the last time he had come over and the Jim Beam I had remaining from the Spades weekend. We then decided we needed to drink more. We went for the traditional $3 margarita at Fire Crazy, where we each consumed at least 4 margaritas. Then my ladyfriend Haley came to pick us up and we went to local Irish estbalishment, Duffy's where we began consuming beer. By this point my state was already described by outsiders as "deliriously funny". As we continued to drink I began turning into a kleptomaniac and probably in plain sight of other bar patrons and possibly workers, I began stealing some of those plastic banners and sticking them under my jacket. I did not end up bringing them home so I am not sure what happened between here and there. Also, my friend Bryce called me and was angry that I had not informed him of my drinking and terpsichorean adventures. He then some how appeared moments later and bought me some Jack and Cokes. It is him and anyone else who provided me with liquor who I can thank for helping me to wake up at 9:00 the next morning to show up at work by 8:00. No biggie I guess. Friday at work was great! My stomach and head did not hurt at all! That throbbing pain in both spots is normal, right! Friday night I cannot even begin to think to recount in this space, but I will try. I went to Jewel (the local epicerie) and bought groceries. Some of my more tantalizing purchases included: granny smith apples, bread, roast beef, provolone cheese, pork chops, eggs, pretzels, baby carrots, animal crackers, spinach, salad dressing, macaroni, a jar of spaghetti sauce, beer, milk, some chicken tenders. Okay so that was all my purchases and not just the most tantalizing ones....but just imagine someone feeding it to you as you lay on a bed with palm leaves being waved upon you. Saturday was the day before Trevor's birthday and he informed me that we would be going out. For some reason I have a rule in my head that no matter what I have going on (e.g. I haven't slept in six days, I have an exam the next day, I could feel my organs liquefying and I needed to go to the hospital) I always will go out and have fun for a friend's birthday. It is their day after all. And maybe, just a little bit, I like to have some fun. So, Trevor called me early in the day to let me know that he still had bite marks on his shoulder from me on Thursday and also that people would be gathering at his house around 7:30 for 3 hours of pregaming. I really like pregaming. It is where you save your money for the night and determine how to have fun. I knew Trevor would be wanting to pregame because I have seen him push children aside for the chance to pick up a quarter...out of a sewer. And also it seems whenever I go out with Haley and her friends we pregame for approximately 7 minutes, during which time I finish one beer and have to leave all the rest in someone's room never to be seen again. So anyways, I like to pregame. I was sitting around watching various sporting events on Saturday (curling, ((I really think I could be in the Olympics for curling someday...how many people really do it anyways? I have never met anyone who curled)) college football and basketball, eel tossing) when Trevor called around 4:30 and said that some people had begun pre-pregaming. Wow. I showered as quickly as I could and went over there, arriving around 5:30 and beginning to drink. Sarcastic comments kept being tossed around like, "Come on and drink! You're not even going to be drunk! We only have 4 and a half hours left before we leave! Come on and step it up a notch! Ahhh! Hurry! Drink!" So needless to say we (there were five of us) were a tad blotto by the time we left. My other friend Jay agreed to be the DD for the night and has an old minivan so it was perfect for transportation on this snowy eve...except for the fact that he had taken the back seats out so all of us were just rolling around. We got to the bar and more fun ensued...more drinking for everyone and with shots for Trevor (including a Three Wise Men for which his uvula acted as bouncer for to the nightclub which was his stomach only to discover that Jim, Jack, and Jose were underage if you know what I mean and if you don't you cannot handle my swift metaphors)...one Trevor had done this deed he still continued drinking but once he started dropping glasses and breaking them it was time to go. We then got burritos and I bought one for myself and Trevor (see poor Trevor reference above). I got a chorizo burrito which no one I was with had ever heard of (I described it aptly as a leaky, spicy Mexican sausage "But what kind of meat is it"....you do not ask such questions) and a steak burrito for Trevor. I ate most of mine and then someone took the leftovers and Trevor also offered up a bite of his burrito but when his friend Falo took the bite, Trevor (who was so drunk he probably thought he wasn't) grabbed a knife and began haphazardly swinging it around which cut Falo's hand oh so slightly...so I did what anyone would have done and picked up some lettuce and rubbed it in his eye...everyone knows the soothing effects of some lettuce in the eye...so then we went back to Trevor's and Trevor gave out sleeping arrangements...Jay would get the bed, Dave the couch, Falo the cot, Trevor the pool table and me.....the....recliner? This was not great, but I did manage to make what I kept referring to as a "series of chairs"...my head on the recliner, butt on a wooden chair and feet on another chair...with my jacket as a blanket...what a nice 15 minutes of sleep that was...Sunday was a day of football and Haley took me to Outback... we were then watching Desperate Housewives and I know what you think when I say that. "Tim, might you be a little gay?"My answer is "No, I am not and these are other activities in which I partake that do not make me gay."
-Watching the OC
-Tea parties
-Listening to a little Celine Dion now and then
-Patting my friends butts
-Drinking a wine cooler
-Watching Laguna Beach
-Watching My Sweet Sixteen (man MTV airs a lot of potentially "if a guy watches this he might be gay" shows)
- Thinking about doing some yoga
- Admiring myself
-Nude oil wrestling with men
See these are all normal heterosexual activities.
Anyways, on Desperate Housewives, this one son of one of the housewives was glad that he had some upper hand from his mom because of something she told him so that he could be really gay and not get in trouble for it (here I am using gay as in the actual meaning of homosexual, not just stupid, or happy or any other alternate meanings) When would something happen to make you think, "Now I can be a huge homo and Mom can't be mad at me!" Geeze.
Trevor also writes a blog (just look in my friends if you are on there and his name is Grits&Gravy) which can be found on myspace.com (I also post this one there). he and I have decided to have a point-counterpoint blogoff of hilarious nature. If anyone has any suggestions for topics please let me know.
Also, some news on the domestic front, my boss Tim just asked Logan last week if Logan and I were looking for a new place to live and when he responded affirmatively Tim offered us this house he owns in Oak Park (4br, 2bath) for $1500/month. We checked it out and it is sweet and if we get four people in there with utilities and everything it will only be about $520/person/month and it is a house! Please let me know if you are interested. Here is a link to some pictures of the house: http://community.webshots.com/album/518008247aqjLdp
Also, let me and T-Bags know some ideas for our blogoff.
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