Don't throw your fish in my backyard, my backyard's full

So this weekend I went to the first wedding of any of my close friends of my age. It, needless to say, was an awesome time and I think the bride and groom looked really happy (as far as I can recall..but they were for sure happy at the wedding) as did all of us drunk people. I want to live life with an open bar sort of philosophy. Tip if you want, drink for long periods of time and have fun. I have no clue how this will be applied to a life philosophy, but I will try. There are too many fun moments to recall in this entry and plus I do not want to be directed by people as to what they think my blog will be about each week (as Christi said to me at the reception, "I bet I know what your entry will be about this week....the wedding). No Christi, you silly bobblehead doll, you are wrong.

Monday Night Football Food Review (as written by someone talking to a baby) (imagine a singsong voice)

Who has pizza? Who has pizza? Weeeeeee! Weeeeee! Is the pizza yummers? Is the pizza yummers? Guacamole (tickles belly)! Guacamole (tickles belly)! (Funny face)

And finally, Tim's Top Ten Ways to Avoid Contracting the Avian Flu:

As you may or may not be aware, there is a pending threat of some sort of avian flu coming and killing everyone. Not to worry, here are some helpful tips I have devised.

1) Stop making out with birds, you sick fucks.
2) Do not simulate any sexual acts with any poultry prior to cooking it (anymore).
3) Avoid things and activities that weaken the immune system, like hanging out in nursing homes and kryptonite.
4) Really, it is not even that cute when you are nuzzling up to that goose.
5) Lather, rinse and REPEAT.
6) Instead of raising poultry, how about you poultry farmers realize the world has INDUSTRIALIZED and you can get real work now?
7) Stop using uncooked sinewy pieces of bird as dental floss. I already told you how much it creeped me out before.
8) Drink a bottle of Robitussin each morning upon waking and a bottle of NyQuill before you fall back asleep. These should be within about five minutes of each other.
9) If you hang out with anyone you call "The Birdman", "Bird" or even Larry Bird, stop. They probably already have the avian flu (Larry Bird got it from Magic Johnson)
10) Immediately cease all attempts to try and recreate the movie "Fly Away Home". After all, let's face it, you're no Jeff Daniels.