The place to be after the world ends

According to some weirdo that for some reason was allowed on the radio, the world is ending this Saturday, May 21. This guy also said that the world was ending in 1994, so I am not exactly holding my breath over here.

BUT, contingency plans never hurt anyone.

If the world should end, I am going to hell. I've laughed at a few too many situations I probably should not have. It's ok, most of you are probably going to hell too. Resignation to this fact will make the commute that much easier.

I am concerned about making sure I meet up with some awesome people for all eternity. So, the plan is this:

Everyone who wants to have fun, meet in the room in hell where all you do is get hammered all day everyday. The catch is, you wake up every morning tired, and with the worst (non puking) hangover you have ever had. And this being Hell, there is no headache reliever, Gatorade, or greasy food to get you back on track. Just more booze. That's what makes this room great. It's the place to be after around 4pm everyday. Mornings suck, but a three Bloody Mary's with a Jameson back should get you right back where you need to be.

Good plan? See everyone there.

Some other thoughts:

Facts about the nfl lockout for the casual nfl fan:

Over 90% of nfl players will end up getting stabbed during the lockout, typically in a domestic disturbance/strip club/ you said this nail salon was our little secret what is tmz doing outside skirmish.

You will see Peyton Manning and Drew Brees at Walgreens around the country bringing their commercial pitches to you in person, usually by hiding things in your cart or basket in hopes that you purchase them.

Now is the best time to expect seeing a local NFL star at your nearby cash title loan, because hey, a fully loaded Range Rover isn't going to feed an entourage.

My favorite conversation stopper lately is saying, "I don't want to get political with you." This really offers a segue away from anything, especially since politics are typically not being discussed. But hey, don't like the way the "where should we grab lunch" conversation is going? Treat the person you are talking to like they are Pat Buchanan talking about actual aliens being more allowed in this country then an 8th generation Mexican child. Say it like you are offended, then you pick the lunch spot.