Twenty Menudos

Someone who lives in my building, yet someone I have never seen, parks their red Honda Civic on the parking pad in the rear of the building. They have a very particular vanity license plate "MUFFY2U". So I have resorted to referring to this general unknown person as "Muffy To Me", as I guess that is what they want me to call them if you flip all the nonsense around. But why is their car always here? Why do they want me to call them Muffy? Do they stay inside since they bear a resemblance to the Muffy character from Arthur? These questions eat at me day and night (4 seconds each day, and usually a nanosecond of time each night.)

I am in general disagreement with the notion of Michael Phelps as one of the greatest athletes of all time. I do think he is probably one of the greatest swimmers of all time, but swimming does not translate to athleticism. I mean, Michael Phelps looks like he would be extremely awkward with his extra long monkey torso playing pretty much any other sport, and that my friends, does not a great athlete make. Maybe water basketball he would exceed at, but not too much else. Jim Thorpe, apparently was a great athlete (as well as a legit firewater loving indian ((feather)), Bo Jackson, before being too great of an athlete and breaking his hip, was a great athlete. Deion Sanders, great athlete. Michael Phelps, great SWIMMER. Don't get it twisted.

Sometimes I get little snippets of ideas for things that would be great in standup routines, but I have yet to really muster up the courage to combine them all together and actually go on stage and perform them somewhere. The main reason, and I think this is a very valid reason- most standup routines have a little more than 45 seconds of material. It would be a short act, not necessarily leaving people the least bit fulfilled. Another issue is that so many things crack me up a great deal, so the things that I think that make me laugh might not be funny- like Beowulf related humor typically does not go over well with the masses. Didn't everyone have to read that?

The Air and Water Show was this weekend in Chicago, so much of my time at home this weekend made it sound like an air raid was about to start, and that, in fact, whatever club in Boys Town was blasting the techno remix of "The Roof is On Fire" would for the first time, be a soothsaying DJ. I don't understand what all this air and water show fuss is about unless you like planes, are five, or have a favorite NASCAR driver. Those people get geeked up for any machine that goes fast. Weird. KONICHIWA.