Some complaints from last week from me and others:
-That last week's blog was too long. I forgot we live in a world of instant gratification. Next time my musings are that long, I will offer a summary at the beginning, something like:
*Slur
*Not funny pun
*Slur
*Attempt at wit
*Mocking of the deceased
*Slur
*FIN
-After reading my writings, Brian now thinks I want him to break my rib. I said "ribs or something". Just make me give up by choking me to death or something.
-Another complaint I got: "Tim, you use too many inappropriate punctuation marks." Sorry, Grammar Guru, I don't care. I just type it out and then post it. No complex revision processes or expensive editors employed in these parts. I don't even use that spell check mofo.
I recently came across a piece of paper where I had written down another SNL character idea. His name initially, was "Extrapolation Man", but due to the audience of SNL these days (people who got drunk to early in the day and have awakened to watch SNL, stoners, and Logan) a better name might be "Gross Overexaggeration Man". Anywho, the principle idea of this character is that he extrapolates things way too far. Along me to illustrate:
1)He could be on an airplane. Sensing the ever increasing altitude during takeoff, our hero attempts to calm everyone down from their impending doom because he thinks, based on very little data, that the plane will go up forever and is not equipped for space travel.
2) He could see his wife baking a loaf of bread and while she is letting it rise, he could see how much the bread had risen inonly 20 short minutes and attempt to evacuate the city since he believes it will soon be decimated by this bread.
3)He could see some really large young kid and think that by the time the kid is 30 he will be 38 feet tall and weigh 650 pounds and try and have him put to sleep.
Really, in any situation where something is a factor of time, this guy could make gross overassumptions of the situation. Try to make some up, it is actually slightly amusing.
So, tax season is over yet again. And in one of the more bizarre work circumstances of my life, I was sent home from work on Monday. Yes, almost like a third grader is sent home. I came into work on Monday despite not feeling very well (I had felt badly all weekend, and my Mom will be proud to read I made the wise decision to still go out and have fun on Saturday night. It's what she would have done), figuring that I could rough it out on such a big day for the others at work. However, my coughing was evidently too much and at 10:30, I had the following conversation:
D: "Tim, do you have anything pressing you are working on right now?"
Tim: "No, what is it that you need me to do?" (trying to be helpful)
D:"I need you to get out of here. Go home, now."
Tim: "Ummm...ok? Can do."
Then on Tuesday, when I called in the morning, I was asked if I was still coughing, which I was, and was again commanded to not show my face. Even today I have coughed a few times, although trying to keep it more quiet, and the same boss told me "maybe you should seek medical attention." No, I think I am just a tad congested now, but thanks.
KONICHIWA BITCHES
No comments:
Post a Comment