Go to this link, and watch this clip. While some that I have steered this direction already have maligned its humor, I am in the opposite camp. By a lot. Blizzard Man is, in fact, my new hero:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/54518/
This past week there was nearly some breach in the universe, when Paul and I almost collided with ourselves from the future. And by breach, I mean awesome-party-fun-time. Let me explain. This past Saturday evening we were driving to the Naperville area to meet at a friend's house, and when we arrived, I noticed no more than ten feet away a car that bore a near exact (read: it was nothing like it at all, except for the same model) resemblance to Paul's car that we were driving in. I immediately panicked and turned to Paul and said, "Oh no, what if future us are already here?" All I can imagine is that if we ran into future us, many high fives would be exchanged and then when we went out to the bar we would get rowdy. Since we would all be trying to push ourselves to push, well, ourselves to better levels...and more high fiving, and self adoration would occur.
And now, I know what you are thinking, "What kind of ridiculous ideas are tossed around amongst you and your friends?" Well, this kind of idea, obviously. Just to inform you, our future selves stayed one step ahead of us the whole night (thank goodness) and continued the chicanery into the next morning, at which point they coated every car parked outdoors in ice just so we would have a tough time opening our doors.
This past weekend in watching many football games as well as many sporting events, I have a couple of problems with the aonnouncing that occurs, and many of these are similar gripes that nearly every sports fan shares.
1)"Al Michaels Syndrome"
Renowned sportscaster Al Michaels is the man I believe we can place the blame on for the recent trend of injured athletes being "out with a body part". For instance, let us say that Kobe Bryant has a torn ACL. To Al Michaelfy it you would say "out with a knee". If Tiger Woods has a strained neck- "Tiger Woods is out with a neck". And all too recently every sportscaster everywhere is saying this crap. Personally if I an injury, say a broken finger, I say "I have a broken finger", and not merely "I have a finger". The only thing we can hope for is an injury to an intimate area of anatomy that would make this form of injury announcing seem so obviously flawed...like if a female athlete should sadly develop some sort of uterus condition, would Michaels go so far as to say she was "out with a uterus"?
2)Sportscasters acting like some sort of confused nine year old.
When I was nine, I went through a "What if" phase of my life. Every situation or anything I saw was not immune to these awful questions. At its worst, I was at the Space Museum in Huntsville, Alabama and every rocket we would walk past I would ask, "What if this rocket ignited right now when we stood by it?" Well obviously, dumb Tim, we would all be burned to a fine crisp.
And this is the same thing sportscasters are doing. Instead of talking about the actual action on the field, they are "making up" an additional 5-10 interceptions a game, an additional made 7-10 free throws a game, and what if-ing the whole f-ing game. Well here's the thing sports guys- they did not intercept the ball or make those free throws, or make whatever key play you suggested they might have made....deal with it.
I had a talk with the big bossman yesterday and all he asked of me was to stick around until April-ish. So I feel like I sort have been released from an oppression of some sort, even though I know, oppression features no paycheck or benefits and lacks this high speed internet access and little work demand. So, something will become of me soon, no longer wasting away waiting for something grand to happen to me. Even crazy ideas are not so crazy now. "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got". HOLLA
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