The other day I went to the local dining establishment of Portillo's, a local chain that pretty much offers nothing that would not be enjoyable to eat on the menu, and stuff Midwesterners love- hot dogs, beef sandwiches, Italian sausage- all of it prepared in the least healthy manner, but, the main this is that when you order your food, the person taking the order speaks it into a microphone, to evidently no one in particular. And, to describe certain foods prepared in certain manners or without certain ingredients, there seems to be a secret language used. Not totally unlike the fashion used at its Southern cousin, health food option The Waffle House. If you were to listen to the people yell out orders, the ordinary person might, even if given all the ingredients, make some bizarre dishes. If one were "to dirty up" a hot dog, you or I might drop it on the ground, not knowing the customer did not want a filthy hot dog, but instead, chili.
This whole secret language ordering thing got me to thinking how I would like to open a chain of restaurants and develop a nearly indecipherable language which would be used to communicate orders. A language so secretive, humorous, and skilled that even the Navajo would have a tough time with it. Here are just some idea examples for secret language:
"Give me a stinky wallaby, coat it in ny quill cherry and play lacrosse with it" -This would be some sort of fish sandwich with ketchup and diced onions
"Tango for two, Ken Griffey Jr. hamstring injury it, and throw some Rob Van Winkle on top"- two brownies, taken out of the over a little early with some vanilla ice cream on top.
Alright, so I guess it would be far easier to come up with a menu first, then the language, but I cannot imagine this place failing. And imagine the pride that would come with working there and learning the language? Wow.
Brian is currently working on coming up with the events for the Manlympics. A number of men will compete, and will evidently be placed on a scale ranging from 1 (Men who cry a lot) to 10 (Chuck Norris). I am quite excited about this and the smack talk going on already has been crazy. Just the other day Brian called me a "Level 3 Man", while he is evidently a Level 8. Soon after this we were driving near my house and the giant manmade sledding hill. I offered up "How funny would it be if I went up there by the people sledding, rolled down the hill, and came back like nothing had happened?" Brian then challenged my manhood, saying I lacked the testicular fortitude to do as such, and that I was also a "pussy". Luckily (or rather very unfortunately for me, I react to these words like when Marty McFly in Back to the Future got called yellow. I will do pretty much anything. Like sophomore year in college when I shaved all the hair off my body because Joe told me I did not have the balls to do it. ) when someone says something like that to me, it always makes me partake in the "challenge". So, I walked up the giant hill, where there were people sledding with their children, turned to them and said, "I'm going to roll," laid down, and rolled down the hill. And yes, there is video of this event. (if you have a phone that plays videos I can forward to you what I have). Brian also said I gained three levels on man for this event. How I got to Level 3 in the first place I do not really know. Hopefully these Manlympics occur soon enough and we can really gauge some manliness.
That's all for now. Back to storming around the office frustrated. For no reason other than looking busy. You heard it here first.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
I often tell people my celebrity look-alike is John Goodman
And when I tell people my celebrity look-alike is John Goodman, I get a number of varied reactions: "Really? I just don't see it." or (Laughter)...."Really?" or "You are not getting out of this Vietnamese Prison Camp that easily Mr. Goodman...err..Mr. Radway....wait, wait can you just act out that one scene from Raising Arizona where you just got climbed out of all that mud? Yeah, I guess you do look like him." Telling people you look like John Goodman is also a good way to avoid saying something ridiculous, like a funny looking girl saying that she has "gotten Carmen Electra once or twice." No, no you haven't, unless it was from some man at a bar planning to take you home that night, after he had consumed approximately 7,359 beers. Or the weird looking guy saying something like, "I occasionally get Matt Damon." No buddy, you look more like Screech. I do wish I would get the occasional Patrick Swayze comparison, mainly his character from Roadhouse, or even someone very manly like Chuck Norris. But, John Goodman will have to do.
I know I have been venturing into the area of sports a lot lately, but, what can I say, I watch a lot of sports. This past weekend I was fortunate enough to watch the Super Bowl earning victories of both the Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts. I like the Colts, which is a real problem seeing that I live in Chicago and everyone here loves the Bears. But, I am not talking about that. I just hope the Super Bowl is a good game and people can get good and sloppy without promulgating hatred of one another, nor do I hope to make my '07 ER Trip so early this year (although last year was 02/06/06...fingers crossed it is later this year...and don't worry I budgeted funds for it this year. No more saying that it was unexpected) due to being on the wrong end of an angry mob beatdown.
Rather I wish to discuss one change I would love to see made with the red challenge flags NFL coaches throw on the field when they wish to challenge a play. Too often the coaches are indecisive and then many seem to possess the arm of a 7 year old girl (and not one of those seven year old girls that has her hair cut like a boys and plays with the boys Little League team, rather a seven year old girl that still views gift requests like ponies or a fairy godmother as realistic requests) and the flag falls meekly on the sideline and then there is hoopla about whether or not they did in fact throw the flag before the next play. One easy two pronged solution is that: 1)Instead of a pansy flag, there is a challenge javelin. Yes the javelin thing from the Olympics that looks like a spear. and 2)There is a designated thrower of this challenge javelin. I know it sounds unsafe, and more than likely is, but just think how much more excitement this adds to the game and could add to the broadcast of the game if you had fear that a player was going to be maimed or killed as a result of a challenge...wow. Please NFL, do what you can.
Today as I got my once a week coffee fix (it makes me shake and jittery and rapid when I have this coffee...to demonstrate I am currently typing about 945 words a minute, and unfortunately backspacing just as quickly since I really suck at typing) I noted some sort of "Roastmaster's Blend" which was described as having "Pear and almond undertones, and the slight aftertaste of white pepper." Gross. I am glad I do not possess these ultra sensitive tastebuds where I can taste all sorts of weird shit when I drink something as innocuous as coffee. Seriously, thank God. I am glad I do not bite into some chicken and think "Blackberry undertones, and a hint of OFF bugspray...how exquisite...and the aftertaste of the smell of a cedar closet. Wow."
A few months back I mentioned how someone had used the phrase "I am not ready to drink the Kool-Aid on this guy quite yet," which is a reference to a cult led by Jim Jones where everyone drank some sort of cyanide laced Kool Aid, and obviously died. Now the phrase is everywhere, and strangely appearing most prolifically in sports related columns like this comment made by Baltimore Ravens offensive coordinator Rick Neuheisel in an espn.com column:
"I had Vince Young as my top guy last year but I also wrote down that you have to drink the Kool-Aid. You can't put him in a [Matt] Leinart or [Jay] Cutler offense. You can't say that he's going to be the same. If you design the offense around him, I think you're going to have a freak. I think that's going to bear out. "
How weird is that? I have not heard any other weird references basically referring to "needing to commit to killing yourself with a large cult group" lately. Are there even any other possibilities? "You have to be willing to sentence him to death by crucifixion"? "I'm not ready to get involved with a shootout at my Branch Davidian complex with the FBI with this guy"? (David Koresh). Weirdness.
HOLLA
I know I have been venturing into the area of sports a lot lately, but, what can I say, I watch a lot of sports. This past weekend I was fortunate enough to watch the Super Bowl earning victories of both the Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts. I like the Colts, which is a real problem seeing that I live in Chicago and everyone here loves the Bears. But, I am not talking about that. I just hope the Super Bowl is a good game and people can get good and sloppy without promulgating hatred of one another, nor do I hope to make my '07 ER Trip so early this year (although last year was 02/06/06...fingers crossed it is later this year...and don't worry I budgeted funds for it this year. No more saying that it was unexpected) due to being on the wrong end of an angry mob beatdown.
Rather I wish to discuss one change I would love to see made with the red challenge flags NFL coaches throw on the field when they wish to challenge a play. Too often the coaches are indecisive and then many seem to possess the arm of a 7 year old girl (and not one of those seven year old girls that has her hair cut like a boys and plays with the boys Little League team, rather a seven year old girl that still views gift requests like ponies or a fairy godmother as realistic requests) and the flag falls meekly on the sideline and then there is hoopla about whether or not they did in fact throw the flag before the next play. One easy two pronged solution is that: 1)Instead of a pansy flag, there is a challenge javelin. Yes the javelin thing from the Olympics that looks like a spear. and 2)There is a designated thrower of this challenge javelin. I know it sounds unsafe, and more than likely is, but just think how much more excitement this adds to the game and could add to the broadcast of the game if you had fear that a player was going to be maimed or killed as a result of a challenge...wow. Please NFL, do what you can.
Today as I got my once a week coffee fix (it makes me shake and jittery and rapid when I have this coffee...to demonstrate I am currently typing about 945 words a minute, and unfortunately backspacing just as quickly since I really suck at typing) I noted some sort of "Roastmaster's Blend" which was described as having "Pear and almond undertones, and the slight aftertaste of white pepper." Gross. I am glad I do not possess these ultra sensitive tastebuds where I can taste all sorts of weird shit when I drink something as innocuous as coffee. Seriously, thank God. I am glad I do not bite into some chicken and think "Blackberry undertones, and a hint of OFF bugspray...how exquisite...and the aftertaste of the smell of a cedar closet. Wow."
A few months back I mentioned how someone had used the phrase "I am not ready to drink the Kool-Aid on this guy quite yet," which is a reference to a cult led by Jim Jones where everyone drank some sort of cyanide laced Kool Aid, and obviously died. Now the phrase is everywhere, and strangely appearing most prolifically in sports related columns like this comment made by Baltimore Ravens offensive coordinator Rick Neuheisel in an espn.com column:
"I had Vince Young as my top guy last year but I also wrote down that you have to drink the Kool-Aid. You can't put him in a [Matt] Leinart or [Jay] Cutler offense. You can't say that he's going to be the same. If you design the offense around him, I think you're going to have a freak. I think that's going to bear out. "
How weird is that? I have not heard any other weird references basically referring to "needing to commit to killing yourself with a large cult group" lately. Are there even any other possibilities? "You have to be willing to sentence him to death by crucifixion"? "I'm not ready to get involved with a shootout at my Branch Davidian complex with the FBI with this guy"? (David Koresh). Weirdness.
HOLLA
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Do not mess with us, you'll totally get shot with a gun
Go to this link, and watch this clip. While some that I have steered this direction already have maligned its humor, I am in the opposite camp. By a lot. Blizzard Man is, in fact, my new hero:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/54518/
This past week there was nearly some breach in the universe, when Paul and I almost collided with ourselves from the future. And by breach, I mean awesome-party-fun-time. Let me explain. This past Saturday evening we were driving to the Naperville area to meet at a friend's house, and when we arrived, I noticed no more than ten feet away a car that bore a near exact (read: it was nothing like it at all, except for the same model) resemblance to Paul's car that we were driving in. I immediately panicked and turned to Paul and said, "Oh no, what if future us are already here?" All I can imagine is that if we ran into future us, many high fives would be exchanged and then when we went out to the bar we would get rowdy. Since we would all be trying to push ourselves to push, well, ourselves to better levels...and more high fiving, and self adoration would occur.
And now, I know what you are thinking, "What kind of ridiculous ideas are tossed around amongst you and your friends?" Well, this kind of idea, obviously. Just to inform you, our future selves stayed one step ahead of us the whole night (thank goodness) and continued the chicanery into the next morning, at which point they coated every car parked outdoors in ice just so we would have a tough time opening our doors.
This past weekend in watching many football games as well as many sporting events, I have a couple of problems with the aonnouncing that occurs, and many of these are similar gripes that nearly every sports fan shares.
1)"Al Michaels Syndrome"
Renowned sportscaster Al Michaels is the man I believe we can place the blame on for the recent trend of injured athletes being "out with a body part". For instance, let us say that Kobe Bryant has a torn ACL. To Al Michaelfy it you would say "out with a knee". If Tiger Woods has a strained neck- "Tiger Woods is out with a neck". And all too recently every sportscaster everywhere is saying this crap. Personally if I an injury, say a broken finger, I say "I have a broken finger", and not merely "I have a finger". The only thing we can hope for is an injury to an intimate area of anatomy that would make this form of injury announcing seem so obviously flawed...like if a female athlete should sadly develop some sort of uterus condition, would Michaels go so far as to say she was "out with a uterus"?
2)Sportscasters acting like some sort of confused nine year old.
When I was nine, I went through a "What if" phase of my life. Every situation or anything I saw was not immune to these awful questions. At its worst, I was at the Space Museum in Huntsville, Alabama and every rocket we would walk past I would ask, "What if this rocket ignited right now when we stood by it?" Well obviously, dumb Tim, we would all be burned to a fine crisp.
And this is the same thing sportscasters are doing. Instead of talking about the actual action on the field, they are "making up" an additional 5-10 interceptions a game, an additional made 7-10 free throws a game, and what if-ing the whole f-ing game. Well here's the thing sports guys- they did not intercept the ball or make those free throws, or make whatever key play you suggested they might have made....deal with it.
I had a talk with the big bossman yesterday and all he asked of me was to stick around until April-ish. So I feel like I sort have been released from an oppression of some sort, even though I know, oppression features no paycheck or benefits and lacks this high speed internet access and little work demand. So, something will become of me soon, no longer wasting away waiting for something grand to happen to me. Even crazy ideas are not so crazy now. "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got". HOLLA
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/54518/
This past week there was nearly some breach in the universe, when Paul and I almost collided with ourselves from the future. And by breach, I mean awesome-party-fun-time. Let me explain. This past Saturday evening we were driving to the Naperville area to meet at a friend's house, and when we arrived, I noticed no more than ten feet away a car that bore a near exact (read: it was nothing like it at all, except for the same model) resemblance to Paul's car that we were driving in. I immediately panicked and turned to Paul and said, "Oh no, what if future us are already here?" All I can imagine is that if we ran into future us, many high fives would be exchanged and then when we went out to the bar we would get rowdy. Since we would all be trying to push ourselves to push, well, ourselves to better levels...and more high fiving, and self adoration would occur.
And now, I know what you are thinking, "What kind of ridiculous ideas are tossed around amongst you and your friends?" Well, this kind of idea, obviously. Just to inform you, our future selves stayed one step ahead of us the whole night (thank goodness) and continued the chicanery into the next morning, at which point they coated every car parked outdoors in ice just so we would have a tough time opening our doors.
This past weekend in watching many football games as well as many sporting events, I have a couple of problems with the aonnouncing that occurs, and many of these are similar gripes that nearly every sports fan shares.
1)"Al Michaels Syndrome"
Renowned sportscaster Al Michaels is the man I believe we can place the blame on for the recent trend of injured athletes being "out with a body part". For instance, let us say that Kobe Bryant has a torn ACL. To Al Michaelfy it you would say "out with a knee". If Tiger Woods has a strained neck- "Tiger Woods is out with a neck". And all too recently every sportscaster everywhere is saying this crap. Personally if I an injury, say a broken finger, I say "I have a broken finger", and not merely "I have a finger". The only thing we can hope for is an injury to an intimate area of anatomy that would make this form of injury announcing seem so obviously flawed...like if a female athlete should sadly develop some sort of uterus condition, would Michaels go so far as to say she was "out with a uterus"?
2)Sportscasters acting like some sort of confused nine year old.
When I was nine, I went through a "What if" phase of my life. Every situation or anything I saw was not immune to these awful questions. At its worst, I was at the Space Museum in Huntsville, Alabama and every rocket we would walk past I would ask, "What if this rocket ignited right now when we stood by it?" Well obviously, dumb Tim, we would all be burned to a fine crisp.
And this is the same thing sportscasters are doing. Instead of talking about the actual action on the field, they are "making up" an additional 5-10 interceptions a game, an additional made 7-10 free throws a game, and what if-ing the whole f-ing game. Well here's the thing sports guys- they did not intercept the ball or make those free throws, or make whatever key play you suggested they might have made....deal with it.
I had a talk with the big bossman yesterday and all he asked of me was to stick around until April-ish. So I feel like I sort have been released from an oppression of some sort, even though I know, oppression features no paycheck or benefits and lacks this high speed internet access and little work demand. So, something will become of me soon, no longer wasting away waiting for something grand to happen to me. Even crazy ideas are not so crazy now. "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got". HOLLA
Friday, January 05, 2007
This is a fantasy. Vehicles cannot drive on buildings.
All too much lately the auto industry has been spewing visual crap in my direction. Their commercials are getting more and more ridiculous, and not in the sense that would make me want to run out and purchase their automobile. Prior to the past six months, there was a certain formula for a car commercial; someone driving the car very fast and making rapid turns (and throw down at the bottom in tiny print "Professional Driver on a Closed Course") only to reveal at the end of the ad that it was merely a middle class Mom on her way home from the grocery store. For some reason recently, the auto industry has decided that this was not selling enough cars (as a side rant, people generally feel a NEED for cars, and will do their own research into what they want and like. never would someone see an auto dealer and say something like, "What, Ford makes cars? Why did they not advertise so I might have known this before I purchased my Kia?") and every company hired a team of peyote and meth fueled think tanks to invent new advertisements that would better market the product. Let me highlight a few of my least favorite:
1)Some sort of large new Ford vehicle is driving around on the side of buildings. That is from where the title this week was derived, and I must admit, the first time I read, "This is a fantasy. Vehicles cannot drive on buildings." I had to have a little chuckle. But, I was not in anyway compelled to remember the name of this car nor to run out and trade in my car for this one. Now, on the other hand had they actually made a car with side of the building driving abilities...now we are talking.
2)There is yet another large vehicle, maybe made by Nissan? Anyways it is dropped off a crane, is so tough and heavy that it falls all the way through the center of the Earth, which is evidently inhabited by some sort of strange race I think was last seen on the Fraggles, and the vehicle ends up in China. Thanks Nissan, but after Lexington Road in Louisville caved in a few years ago, I don't want a vehicle that could fall all the way through the Earth.
3)Kia has an ad out where some of their "salesmen" are singing that "So Long, Farewell" song from the Sound of Music. Logically they are singing bye to cars and not bidding farewell to the Austrian and Nazi dinner guests at their home. This is a ridiculous concept and as several of my friends have mentioned, "If I walked into an auto dealer and they were standing around singing like that...I would be out like a fat kid in dodgeball." There is some valid truthiness to that statement.
4)Some other large Nissan vehicle, driving to the beginning of the song Ironman through some abandoned warehouse filled with odd piles of dirt. The text on the screen then reads something like "In the old days a man would break his leg"....."And only be out for one play" I am calling your bluff Nissan..maybe in the old days men would not have pansy injuries like turf toe or pulled hamstrings...but broken legs will sideline anyone.
Social networking website myspace, through some sponsership from some film, now allows users to post up to 300 pictures. The day anyone I know has this many pictures on their page is the day I am done with myspace. I said it, and I will do it.
So, my motto sort of thing for 2007 is something like "Don't just talk about it, be about it." You know, don't just talk about doing stuff, do stuff. You want to go skydiving? Pick up the phone and schedule it. You want to go buy something you've had your eye on? Go buy it. Do stuff. Make shit happen. I know it is not a big deal, but I had been talking about buying a couple new rugs for the casa, so the other day, I just went and did it. No more talk. Just action. So I have also decided to make some stuff happen with my life. In some sort of order here are the plans for 2007:
1)After January, look for a new job, if the new job kicks it hardcore, the law school thing can sit back a bit...who knows maybe even at night with tuition reimbursement from the company?
2) Study for the LSAT, take the LSAT in June. Apply to a few law schools in the Chicago area, as well as the University of Louisville. If I suck too much to get good scholarships to schools up here, I will move home to reestablish residency and go to law school there (unless my parents charge as much rent as I pay here, which would make my idea of living at home for less moot). I am leery of this idea because I would basically become a stranger to my Chicago friends. Even if they say I wouldn't. Ask Dave Prak about how this works.
So that is the plan. If anything I am trying to make something happen. Even though I get the idea that being a lawyer even would not be the best cutout for me. I need to be a homeless predicter of the future at a bus stop or something. My wit would be best used then. If anything the crazy path I am setting out on now will make my E! True Hollywood Story very intriguing..."Tim after working at an accounting firm for three years, set out and obtained a law degree...it was not until after that when he became one of the biggest stars...and saddest tales that SNL has ever seen....on tonight's E! True Hollywood Story"
I finally was able to get my iPod shuffle up and fully functional and after a couple weeks of usage, although it may be early and rather presumptive...I am in love with this device. It holds mucho songs, charges by way of my computer, the sound quality is great, and even though while running I could still hear the music, I have been convinced at least three times that the tiny device had been lost. Good work iPod.
And now, an excerpt from that book I have been working on (which I am going to finish in 2007 even if it means my untimely death)
"This is when all the chicanery of having two children very close in age to one another finally began to show itself. We used to play tricks on our parents, elaborate schemes boiled up with the help of the neighborhood homeless and the local fireworks distributors. Ahhhh…. those were the days. Our parents, being new at the whole parenting thing, were unsure how to punish us, and were so lax, we would often commit petty misdemeanors and receive as punishment something as light as not receiving every gift we wanted for Arbor Day (yes my family was really big on Arbor Day. We would gather around the chainsaw in the living room ((I meant extremely Anti Arbor Day…we fuckin hate trees, son)) and hand out our gifts that were brought by Ashy, the forest burning not well put out cigarette mascot of ours…you always had a long list of stuff you wanted and most of the time would get it, unless of course, you were being punished) which would always seem like a big deal at the time, and we would throw our fits and proclaim that we “loved trees” and “the Earth”…only to cause our parents to warn us that Ashy would hear us and never bring gifts again. And of course we were not idiots, we would logically cry until our parents rescinded their comments and showered us with more gifts and affection."
HOLLA
1)Some sort of large new Ford vehicle is driving around on the side of buildings. That is from where the title this week was derived, and I must admit, the first time I read, "This is a fantasy. Vehicles cannot drive on buildings." I had to have a little chuckle. But, I was not in anyway compelled to remember the name of this car nor to run out and trade in my car for this one. Now, on the other hand had they actually made a car with side of the building driving abilities...now we are talking.
2)There is yet another large vehicle, maybe made by Nissan? Anyways it is dropped off a crane, is so tough and heavy that it falls all the way through the center of the Earth, which is evidently inhabited by some sort of strange race I think was last seen on the Fraggles, and the vehicle ends up in China. Thanks Nissan, but after Lexington Road in Louisville caved in a few years ago, I don't want a vehicle that could fall all the way through the Earth.
3)Kia has an ad out where some of their "salesmen" are singing that "So Long, Farewell" song from the Sound of Music. Logically they are singing bye to cars and not bidding farewell to the Austrian and Nazi dinner guests at their home. This is a ridiculous concept and as several of my friends have mentioned, "If I walked into an auto dealer and they were standing around singing like that...I would be out like a fat kid in dodgeball." There is some valid truthiness to that statement.
4)Some other large Nissan vehicle, driving to the beginning of the song Ironman through some abandoned warehouse filled with odd piles of dirt. The text on the screen then reads something like "In the old days a man would break his leg"....."And only be out for one play" I am calling your bluff Nissan..maybe in the old days men would not have pansy injuries like turf toe or pulled hamstrings...but broken legs will sideline anyone.
Social networking website myspace, through some sponsership from some film, now allows users to post up to 300 pictures. The day anyone I know has this many pictures on their page is the day I am done with myspace. I said it, and I will do it.
So, my motto sort of thing for 2007 is something like "Don't just talk about it, be about it." You know, don't just talk about doing stuff, do stuff. You want to go skydiving? Pick up the phone and schedule it. You want to go buy something you've had your eye on? Go buy it. Do stuff. Make shit happen. I know it is not a big deal, but I had been talking about buying a couple new rugs for the casa, so the other day, I just went and did it. No more talk. Just action. So I have also decided to make some stuff happen with my life. In some sort of order here are the plans for 2007:
1)After January, look for a new job, if the new job kicks it hardcore, the law school thing can sit back a bit...who knows maybe even at night with tuition reimbursement from the company?
2) Study for the LSAT, take the LSAT in June. Apply to a few law schools in the Chicago area, as well as the University of Louisville. If I suck too much to get good scholarships to schools up here, I will move home to reestablish residency and go to law school there (unless my parents charge as much rent as I pay here, which would make my idea of living at home for less moot). I am leery of this idea because I would basically become a stranger to my Chicago friends. Even if they say I wouldn't. Ask Dave Prak about how this works.
So that is the plan. If anything I am trying to make something happen. Even though I get the idea that being a lawyer even would not be the best cutout for me. I need to be a homeless predicter of the future at a bus stop or something. My wit would be best used then. If anything the crazy path I am setting out on now will make my E! True Hollywood Story very intriguing..."Tim after working at an accounting firm for three years, set out and obtained a law degree...it was not until after that when he became one of the biggest stars...and saddest tales that SNL has ever seen....on tonight's E! True Hollywood Story"
I finally was able to get my iPod shuffle up and fully functional and after a couple weeks of usage, although it may be early and rather presumptive...I am in love with this device. It holds mucho songs, charges by way of my computer, the sound quality is great, and even though while running I could still hear the music, I have been convinced at least three times that the tiny device had been lost. Good work iPod.
And now, an excerpt from that book I have been working on (which I am going to finish in 2007 even if it means my untimely death)
"This is when all the chicanery of having two children very close in age to one another finally began to show itself. We used to play tricks on our parents, elaborate schemes boiled up with the help of the neighborhood homeless and the local fireworks distributors. Ahhhh…. those were the days. Our parents, being new at the whole parenting thing, were unsure how to punish us, and were so lax, we would often commit petty misdemeanors and receive as punishment something as light as not receiving every gift we wanted for Arbor Day (yes my family was really big on Arbor Day. We would gather around the chainsaw in the living room ((I meant extremely Anti Arbor Day…we fuckin hate trees, son)) and hand out our gifts that were brought by Ashy, the forest burning not well put out cigarette mascot of ours…you always had a long list of stuff you wanted and most of the time would get it, unless of course, you were being punished) which would always seem like a big deal at the time, and we would throw our fits and proclaim that we “loved trees” and “the Earth”…only to cause our parents to warn us that Ashy would hear us and never bring gifts again. And of course we were not idiots, we would logically cry until our parents rescinded their comments and showered us with more gifts and affection."
HOLLA
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)