15 MINUTE RUNNING DIARY OF THE ACADEMY AWARDS
8:15pm- Hugh Jackman? What happened to having someone funny host the show? Sure, he is Australian and rugged looking, but what does that do for the laugh factor?
8:16pm- Sarah Jessica Parker! The world's most successful horse- screw you Secretariat! And Daniel Craig- the pansiest James Bond ever! What a presenting duo, I see now why they wanted to keep the presenters secret.
8:18pm- "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" just won the award for Art Direction. Alana quipped, "I didn't think it was that great." I didn't even waste my time seeing it. I prefer this movie in reverse, and starring Robin Williams. It's called Jack. It's way sweet. Bill Cosby is in it too. The guys who won this award suck at speeches. Probably because they have never won anything in their lives.
8:21pm- Wow! The only movie where I would say there technically were costumes won for best costumes...The Duchess. All the other movies it looked to me like people were just wearing normal clothes. I personally do not call it costuming when I get dressed in the morning. It's just getting dressed, you talent mongers.
8:23- Makeup. Another stupid award. I will instead discuss Wrigley the beagle. We bought her some sort of tendon thing today. It's about two feet long and looks like a slim jim gone awry. She has not disturbed us since. Benny Button just won this makeup award. I think they should take it from them and give it to the makeup people for Jack since they pirated the awesomeness of that film. Really.
8:25- Ooooo, people from Twilight, I bet women from 13-53 are swooning now. Vampires do it better in West Virginia (I saw this bumper sticker the other day). (PS, no I didn't) Now a montage of clips showing romanitcal scenes. Like 15 of the 40 clips are from High School Musical. What a good year for film.
8:29pm- Commercials must not be very expensive for the Oscars. Because they suck.
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