Ahhhhh.....it feels good to be back, writing normal, funny type thoughts; like sliding into an old comfortable chair, what with its' aromas of Lysol, beer, and pasteurized cheese product and familiar spot that your bum just nestles into because you've sat there a time or two before or even passed out in that one time your sister gave you a giant horse pill when you were drinking only to discover the next day the effect was that of a placebo after she stated, "I think it was just a big Advil"..... I'd had enough of the hoo-hah fast paced style of writing that was needed for recapping Vegas. And for those of you that read it, you should not be surprised to learn that as time went by I was only becoming more and more prone to forget, and to forget stuff I scantly remembered in the first place. It was a fun time. Know that much.
That being said, I have been sloppy with my post-it note writing to remind me of the kabillion funny thoughts I have, but I managed to get down a couple that were legible and made sense (since some of these ideas strike me in the middle of the night, and Jerry Seinfeld style, I get up, write them down, sure of their comic qualities which make them like comin crude oil, only to awaken the next day and read a piece of paper that says "chinese food Manute Bol". It is indeed a funny combo, but the correlation would be a stretch....wait....unless they were on an episode of Dr.Phil together...anyways,) (and I know I do not need a comma or a lead in back to writing after a parenthetical phrase, but seriously, shut the fuck up, I do what I want) and they will lend o at the very least, about 7 sentences of brilliant social mockery and verbal punditry.
First of all, if you are not in tune with the sports world, there is a successful Wang toiling as a starting pitcher for the New York Yankees. And maybe I am juvenile and immature, but I would not say "wong" as it is supposed to be pronounced, I would constantly say wang, as it is a popular slang term for a certain part of the male, hemaphrodite, or transexual anatomy. You can tell someone at ESPN who writes the ticker that goes at the bottom of the screen has some fun with this, writing short blurbs like "Wang out 2-3 days, should not be out so long" or "Wang fined for inappropriate appearance in brawl" or "Wang does six batters in one night with 'sinker' "...and if I were on Sportscenter and had to say his name, shit would be on, son. I can't believe no one has recoginized how successful one Wang has been in propelling people to stardom. By far the most celebrity Wang since at least the reign of Bill Clinton. (what do I mean, reign? what an idiot. and no, I don't backspace...I KEEP'S IT REAL)
I am calling for a boycott of the Old Navy store. First of all, I saw one of their commercials this morning and it was very entertaining for me, and may have even been more so for a CHILD. So, yes, they are brainwashing youth, but with what you ask? They have a new slogan: Old Navy- FASH-ON! Oh, you say, I see nothing wrong with that. But what if I spell it out this way for you? FASC(ISM)-ON? Yes, they are brainwashing the youth of America to be little fascists. Now I will not argue with anyone and say that fascism is totally wrong (screw you, yes I will, I will argue fascism with you, who do you think I am, some non-argumentative son of a B? Have you seen how fascism in past has turned out? Think of the fascist leaders? Do you really think the guy in the $8600 parachute pants is gonna listen to that drivel? COME ON!) but I don't believe the youth culture of our country should be brainwashed into believing this crap. Old Navy? This is just a coy reference to the Russian Navy of yesteryear, back when they OWNED the Black Sea. So, no more Old Navy America...you can keep what you have, but don't buy anything new there (and I am sure no one will mind all that much seeing as it has been decreasing in quality there for a while)
YAH!
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