Monday, April 27, 2009

I might add....

The phrase, "I might add", I might add, is one of the douchiest phrases I have heard being tossed around recently. Not only is it incredibly douchey and sweeping the talking head world (may I just add I am not entirely ready to drink the kool aid on saying I might add) but it is completely and utterly pointless. Let me explain why.

1. Typically the "I might add" is thrown in at the end of a sentence.
Example: I, a douchebag, have gotten really into drinking white wine like a little girl and it is delicious, I might add.

(Disclaimer: That sentence was not about me)

By putting the phrase such as "I might add"at the end of the sentence, you did not MIGHT add it, you FOR SURE JUST ADDED IT. The words already came out of your mouth. The only thing potentially worse then "I might add" is it's bitch of a cousin "may I add" because again, you already added, don't ask if it's okay now. ask beforehand and you might be suprised I don't want to listen to anything you have to say.

Especially you, rental car customers. When I ask if everything worked out okay with your car, I don't give a shit for what you "might add" about the state of the car or the driving conditions you encountered. I just ask because I am supposed to. Really though do I care if the wiper fluid was low? NO. Your dumbass should have stopped and bought some more rather than trivializing my life by waiting the remaining four days you had the car to complian about it. Oh it was difficult to return the car at the gas level you got it? Well guess what it's difficult to me to envision a world where making sue every car has a full tank you annoying piece of garbage.

During NCAA tournament time, I read an article about Pittsburgh Panther Sam Young which may have accidentally led me to discovering the funniest thing one could ever think about when in the mood for thinking of something f-ing hilarious. Sam Young's brother is evidently one of the top "blind athletes" in the world. In particular, if I recall correctly, he excelled at judo. Since I have been so intrigued about how fucking funny it would be to watch these sporting events, but I have decided they are way funnier if you just imagine them then actually trying to find videos of these blind athletes which I am sure look a lot like normal sporting events. It is more fun to imagine the various things in place during these blind events- seeing eye dogs, atheletes tied together in events like judo so they can actually find one another to kick each other, a bunch of swinging and missing, commentators discussing "smell guards" to block an athletes odor from their opponent....it's just funny. Yes, I am sure I will go to hell. It's gonna be fun though.